Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own
By MaryEllen Triiby
“You’re crazy. I am still sleeping at 7:30! Why would you set up a daily meeting that early?” Ted said. “You’re the president of the company… Why don’t you do it on your schedule?”
Ted’s reaction is not an unusual one when I mentioned to colleagues that I had a standing phone meeting with my top copywriter and marketing strategist at 7:30 in the morning Monday through Friday. We had our morning conversations for about three years straight.
Sure, like Ted, most people thought I was crazy. However, I was well aware of the benefits these morning meetings offered to my business. But just as important, this one-on-one time was deeply critical to my own knowledge and expertise. More than just marketing strategy discussions, these meetings were personal mentoring sessions with one of the smartest and most successful direct response experts in the world.
Did I HAVE to do this? Of course not!
Did I WANT to do this? Of course I did!
What most people to this day just don’t get is that 7:30 in the morning was the perfect time for me. That’s because any time when I could get specific, useful advice and information that would improve my career and business was the perfect time.
The Power of Collective Brilliance
I’ve always been a pretty serious person when it comes to building my knowledge base. I grew up in a fairly modest environment where my parents struggled to maintain a middle class lifestyle. I could see how having an education could help me create a different sort of life for myself. So I set my sights on getting a college education. I knew my parents wouldn’t be able to help me much – if at all. So I started saving for college from the time I was 10 years old. I ended up paying every cent of my own college education.
When I got to college, I did not skip classes to hang out with my friends. I didn’t blow off class by sleeping in because I was out late the night before. Instead, I soaked up every word my brain could hold during the day. At night, I reviewed my notes and rewrote them so that the next day I was ready for whatever was coming next.
I did not regret giving up parties or late-night socializing sessions. I was making a time and money investment in myself. I knew that I would be able to put every ounce of knowledge I accumulated to work for myself at some point in the future. Eventually, I was certain, the library in my mind would make me a lot of money.
So it will be no surprise to you that I refused to stop learning even after I’d finished school. I make it a point to try to learn something from every person I meet and every experience I have. I seek out the people who could help me grow my business or advance my career, and ask for their advice. And I have to say, the lessons I’ve learned from these personal success mentors have had a profound impact on my career and life.
Over and over again throughout my career, I’ve discovered the truth in the old saw “two heads are better than one.”
When I’ve had the chance to team up with or learn from the successful people in my industry, I’ve been able to skyrocket my knowledge, my earnings, and my business revenues.
Here are a few examples…
Success Mentor #1: Dick Benson
From the start of my business career I attended conferences and seminars as often as possible. In New York City, there was a plethora to choose from. In 1985, when I saw that Dick Benson – a legend in the world of direct response marketing – was holding a very intimate roundtable, I knew I had to attend. Well, wouldn’t you know it? We had recently hired a new VP of Human Resources who wanted to show the higher ups that she could save our company a boat load of money. She thought that $500 for a two-hour session was excessive and would not approve the expense.
This was my first corporate job out of college. I was making a whopping $12,000 a year. But I had a gut feeling that meeting Dick Benson would have a powerful effect on my life. Instead of missing the seminar, I paid for it myself.
That two-hour session changed the course of my career. Sure, I had read every book that Dick Benson had written… In a sense, I’d already read much of what he had to say. But when you are able to ask a guru questions that pertain to your business and your life specifically, you will find that the advice takes on new meaning… and that you can more easily take action and implement the advice you have learned.
That is exactly what I did.
I took one little idea I’d learn from Dick back to my employer. The idea was to include an 800 number on renewal offers. Up until that point, we only included a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE) in the letters we sent to potential donors. That one little idea brought in so much incremental revenue that within eight months I was promoted and my salary jumped to $20,000 a year.
But going to see Dick Benson was not only life-changing in that it helped boost my salary and advance my career. It taught me the tremendous value in finding advice from already-successful businesspeople… and implementing that advice in my own life.
Success Mentor #2: Jeff MacDonald
My career went along fantastically in NYC for years. But like many people I suffered a devastating personal loss; my father passed away. Even though he had been ill for quite some time I was still not prepared for the pain. My desire to escape New York was tremendous. So when an offer came my way to become Vice President of a large publishing company in Boca Raton, Florida, I grabbed it.
Little did I know that my new boss, Jeff McDonald, would have a huge impact on my career. He taught me about business. He introduced me to the works of Peter Drucker, Jim Collins, and Stephen Covey. He showed me how the principles they taught applied to our business.
Each evening we would review a lesson one on one. And it was on one of those evenings that Jeff spoke one little sentence that has stayed with all these years: “A good executive has the ability to face the facts.”
This is a mantra I’ve repeated to myself for years. Whether you have to face up to a partnership that’s not good for your business… Or you have to kill a product that’s not making money… Or you have to fire an employee you really like… Jeff’s words have helped me cut my losses and save plenty of money. Once you live that statement, your business will change for the better – forever!
Success Mentor #3: Clayton Makepeace
It was master copywriter and direct response legend Clayton Makepeace who taught me the anatomy of advertising copy. It was Clayton who showed me the importance of digging deep to understand the emotional needs and desires of your prospective customers. It was Clayton who taught me to concentrate on the end result and not get caught up with the reasons why something can’t get done. It was Clayton with whom I spent morning after morning on the phone, going through the needs of our company and how our marketing plans and advertising copy would exceed those needs.
Together, we made beautiful music and our company flourished.
Success Mentor #4: Michael Masterson
I’m one of the lucky ones. For nearly the last four years I spent time one-on-one with business builder and marketing expert Michael Masterson. Michael is the person who helped me become a better thinker, a better writer, a better marketer, and a better businessperson. He was the one person who helped me put it all together. He is the person who taught me the concept of tipping point ideas. Not only how to recognize them, but how to develop them and implement them into your business.
Success Mentor #5: Richard Branson
Once I made the decision to start Working Moms Only, my friend Joe Polish invited me to a private brainstorming session with Richard Branson. However, this invitation did not come cheap.
Even though I have read every book Sir Richard has written, I knew I needed to be at that private meeting. So I paid $10,000 to attend. Yes $10,000 for 60 minutes! And you know what? I would do it again!
There were about 10 of us around a table and we each got to ask Richard his advice about our businesses. When we spoke about my business, not only did he give me some great advice, he also asked that I send him some content for him to review. Then he directed me to a few people who could help me going forward. I have since contacted these people and they have been of tremendous value.
The Push You Need to Succeed
As you can see, I have had the opportunity to learn from some of the top marketing and business minds in the world. Each of these men helped contribute a critical piece of advice or information that helped me climb the ladder of success.
That’s why I take mentorship so seriously. It is 100 percent worthwhile to have a phone conversation at 7:30 each morning or spend $10,000 to get advice from someone who can help you expand your knowledge… build your expertise… or grow your business.
But out of all the stellar marketing and business building advice these men gave me or pointed me toward… Of all the contacts they helped me make… Of all the promotions their advice led to and all the sales that resulted from something I learned from them…
There was something missing.
The one thing I needed to learn was how to balance a successful business life with my family life. You see, as much I love my work, I love my family more. And I was not willing to miss out on spending quality time with them. I refused to miss out on the precious moments of my children’s lives. I refused to become a stranger to my husband and put my dreams above his. And I refused to compromise my core beliefs and values.
I knew that if I could find another woman like me – a woman who valued her career but refused to put her family second – I could learn how to have everything I wanted. The successful career. The close relationships with my kids. The loving marriage.
So for years, I searched for someone who could help me learn. I wanted a mentor… but I couldn’t find someone who had the same kind of lifestyle I wanted and was willing to share her secrets.
Now, I’m not saying there are no successful moms out there. But when you take a close look at most of them, you see that many of them have teams of nannies, housekeepers, cooks, and drivers helping them out. That’s an entirely different lifestyle from the one I have. (And I’m guessing that you may not have a team of nannies, housekeepers, cooks, and drivers at your beck and call either!)
Among the other people I admired, many offered expertise in the business realm. But, to be honest, business was the top priority for many of them. Which meant that their business success came at the expense of their families and personal lives.
When you have the opportunity to stand on the shoulders of giants in order to accelerate your own growth, it’s a chance you have a duty to pursue. But when you don’t have a specific mentor to show you the shortcuts to success, you must pave your own path.
Without a mentor to guide me, I was forced to find my own secrets to blending the two facets of my life into one seamless whole. Today – over 13 years of hard work and trial and error – I have developed a specific system for doing exactly that.
I was certain of the value I brought to my family and the companies I was running… And – quite frankly – I knew I could have and excel at both.
Because of the systems I’ve developed and implemented, I’m proud to say that I DO excel at both. I have headed up multi-million dollar marketing divisions. I’ve run multi-million dollar companies. I’ve authored a best-selling book. I’ve started my own business from scratch.
But I’ve also been there for my son’s baseball games. For my daughter’s soccer practice. For my kids’ first days of school. For my husband’s business successes. I have a happy and healthy family and a loving marriage. AND I have a fulfilling, successful career.
I can only imagine how much better my life would be had I been able to find someone to show me the way. In fact, this is what drove me to start Working Moms Only. I want to help guide you toward the successful, balanced, purposeful life you deserve. And I want to give you the mentorship that I never had.
So this is what I need to know: If you could ask ANYONE to help you meet the specific goals in your business and personal life, who would it be? I am willing to find that person and ask her (or him!) to divulge her secrets in an issue of Working Moms Only or via a special teleseminar. But I need to hear from you.
You can respond right here, right now! Email me directly at mentors@workingmomsonly.com
Learning from the people who have been there before you is quite possibly the best way to reach your goals in the quickest time possible. Now’s your chance to name your ideal mentor… and possibly hear from her (or him) in these pages.
So help me help you – talk to me, tell me your ideal mentor right here. Email me directly at mentors@workingmomsonly.com
I look forward to hearing from you and helping you move closer to the life of your dreams.




Excellent issue Mary Ellen!
I had tears because you hit a very personal issue with me. After
19 yrs of homeschooling & 14 yrs of building businesses all out of my home & many of the 7- figures I’ve also never had a Nanny raising my kids for me or a team of people working with me doing these Mommy tasks.
I did train my kids who now at 22,16 & 14 to work with me however. Everyone doing chores, everyone pitching in with laundry, we all did the groceries together & we
are very family centric.
You hit a real soft spot for me because to truly TRULY impact my kids & groom them I had the conviction that I wanted to be at the heart of it. Even thru life threatening illnesses we’ve done it as a family team, my husband and I.
I too long for a good ole fashioned mentor who isn’t chasing both worlds & at the heart of it have a ‘staff’ in her home. I’ve had amazing female Mom mentors who even helped me become a better Mom & wife but they’ve always had the Nanny, cook, cleaning lady, driver lifestyle even without working at home or homeschooling.
You are onto something BIG MaryEllen & I’m so grateful to have you as a Mentor
thru this newsletter & website!
Blessings to you-
Sandi Krakowski
Since leaving the corporate world to start a copywriting career and stay home with my sons, I’ve been on a quest to find a shining Mom/Successful Professional mentor. But every one I’ve found has been great at the job and just so-so on the family balance part.
I resigned myself to the belief that “You can have it all, you just can’t have it all at one time” and decided my success might have to wait until they’re older.
So it’s such a treasure to be a part of your community, Mary Ellen. I’ve learned so much already… and have been passing your emails along to working women who don’t have kids, because the principles you share are universal.
BTW – Sounds like Sandi is one of those Moms we should hear from! We’ve only connected recently, but I’m so inspired by her story and the idea of involving your children IN your business.
Mary ellen
awesome post! I think we all need to have mentors and often they come when you less expect because you also learn to let of need but fire that passion inside of you that opens your heart to receiving what your need to grow as a business woman and just a human being.
I have homeschooled my kids and I do not believe in a nanny. For some it is fine and it is not for me. They are little and they need to be in the right place and raised and molded by me.
I agree what you said about mentors. Yes the best mentors often charge a lot and we do get scared for while but usually we get good intuition of moving forward and then we see it all happened for a reason. It sets our business on fire and propels it to the next level.
Thank you for great post!
Tatyana Gann
MaryEllen,
You hit the nail on the head. I avidly read Michael Masterson and Clayton Makepeace and Bob Bly . . . and all these successful businessmen’s blogs, e-newsletters, etc. And I’ve always found that big empty gap: Few of them really put as much time and priority on family – at least in their discussions.
So it’s always been a struggle to align their advice with some of my priorities. I’ve relished the posts on Clayton’s blog from you and Carline Anglade-Cole that bring more of that synthesis into it. And so glad to find you devoting your space here to this craft.
I also bring another wrinkle – while I’m not knocking big money and someday it may be in my life, it’s not a huge goal for me.
My husband and I long ago focused on living with limited means. We’ve gone through quite a few challenges – major illness, no income, etc. but never felt poor even though we’ve fit in that income bracket at times. We taught our kids to always be thankful for what we have. To understand how wealthy we are when we have food on the table, time together as a family, education, safety and health.
We have a small farm so even with limited money, we always ate like kings (nothing like blackberries in August or maple syrup in March!) and experienced a level of security not everyone can have. But the most important thing that helped us savor what we had (and have) is perspective and a clear sense of priorities.
I don’t think making lots of money negates a strong family life – MaryEllen, you exemplify this achievement. But I also want to encourage finding the freedom in self-employment and the security in not making tons of money by living carefully and valuing what you have.
Because too often we think that financial security will solve our problems when we sacrifice all the other securities – health, relationships and sanity for something that may not solve anything.
I’m happily on the road to making a lot more money as a health copywriter, internet marketer and self-publisher (added to our small farm income). Money is nice to have. And I’m certainly enjoying the expanding financial horizons I have as I build my skills, build my businesses and make plans. But I also want to give encouragement to readers setting goals for what is enough money to feel secure and have the freedom they want to live they way they want.
As you, MaryEllen have revealed through your posts, us mothers (and many dads!) understand that the journey is just as important – if not more so – than the destination.
P.S. It would be great to have a teleseminar with you, MaryEllen, to ask specific business questions and marketing questions.
MaryEllen,
I think you are a God sent. That was an amazing post. I have refused to believe that it is impossible to have a well balanced family life and a successful career. It is simply great to have someone show just how possible this is.
Having mentors is like having a short-cut to success because you get to learn from their mistakes and the experience that they have gained over years of hardwork.
There are a lot women out there who can really benefit from this.
I’m so glad to finally have a mentor in this regard. You are a trail blazer and I think that what you are doing is awesome.
[...] Moms at a recent poll taken on Working Moms Only stated that they weren't willing to give up family time and family closeness to achieve huge [...]
MaryEllen,
For the past year I have been reading several books and e-newsletters on personal development and business. All have been written by successful men. There have been principles suggested by these men, that have me thinking, how am I going to do that with a 2yr old? I do not want to delegate her away to a daycare.
I am so happy to have found you. I enjoy reading your letters and am left wanting more. I am eager to find out how you handled working and raising toddlers.
Thanks for your hard work.
Noreen
I LOVE this post on mentors (you have had some outstanding ones!) and the value that they can add to our businesses and our lives. It is so true that having a mentor allows business owners to find the shortcuts to success. This is something that I think a lot of people fail to realize and you have very simply and eloquently presented in this important message.
Thanks again for a great article.